Free Finnish Kids, Here!

Yes, folks, get 'em while they're still cold...Actually, you can't have them, they are temporarily MINE and I won't give them up for anything. My bestest friend in the world, Gomez, and her two kids, Eli(na) and Laura, ages 9 & 10 landed yesterday and will be with me for the next 3 weeks. Those of you who are parents (or grandparents) help me out here. Listen, we're among friends, you can tell me, do all kids eat this much? And run in and out, in and out endlessly? You can stop snorting your coffee any time now. I'm adjusting, really I am. I gave up saying 'shut the door' after the 50th entry and exit. The only one not dazed chez FiberTribe is Kiley the cat who thinks she's died and gone to cat heaven. Endless laps to lounge in, thighs to be kneaded, fresh suckers doorpeople to let her out and let her in endlessly. Infinite cans of cat food opened, expense be damned. Life is good.

Highlight of Life With Kids yesterday?  Asking them why they were crawling on hands and knees from the front door to the bathroom. Answer? 'Our feet are so dirty mom told us to go wash them.' p.s. they were black up to the ankles. How do they do that within 10 minutes of arrival?  Then there was the mystery of the grapefruit sectioner.  They are convinced I live in a tropical paradise because when they said they were hungry and wanted fruit, I took them outside to pick a pink grapefruit off the tree in the backyard. This is evidently terminally cool if you are 10 years old. So then we had the "How to prepare and eat a grapefruit lesson." They got it. First try.  This was 20 minutes into the visit. All those ideas I had for entertaining them? I figure we will have burned through them by tonight.  I think they need to learn to knit, yes? That ought to take up 10 minutes or so. heh. 

And did I mention laundry?  How the hell can two kids produce an entire basket load of laundry in 2+ hours? Is this normal or am I dealing with special talent here?

All righty, then. This is where you, fearless reader, survivor parent/grandparent of pint-sized humans, get to dispense sage advice to this clueless Auntie Mame-wannabe. I am waaay out of my league, clearly. All ideas/advice cheerfully accepted for entertainments, coping mechanisms, how to fool them into playing peacefully with each other, etc.

Knitting to return as soon as I can gather my scattered wits. I understand this may happen sometime around when the kids hit 21....

Comments

[Margene]

Don't ask me...I'm childless for a reason! Maybe you can get the cat and kids to come and go in unison. Let the clothes get to the point that no one can stand them before washing. And I think it is just way cool that you can pick grapefruit out your back door, too!

[corine]

laundry? someone who i always knew had it really together shared a secret with me. 'once the kids are clothed, nobody knows wether or not they have underwear on. sometimes they do, sometimes they don't, it depends on the laundry rotation, or how late we were running, or wether they got help dressing themselves, or...(you get the picture).' ...i'm sad to say, this does not work with diapers.
have a blast,
corine

[Kerstin]

Drugs. Take them. Lots of them. Tell them to go outside, then lock the door. Let them in for lunch and dinner, kick them back out. Seriously? They'll calm down and adjust. Once mine realize I'm not going to entertain them 24/7, they find things to do. Craft projects, trip to museums, movies, books and food. Laundry? Can't help you there, it's insane.

Want three more?

Grapefruits in your backyard is *way* cool!

[Michelle]

I think knitting is the answer! Teach them! They will learn zen in the process!

(Maybe...)

[Amie]

Yup. It's amazing what they'll do when they don't have you to do it for them. Did pilgrim children have mom to entertain them? No, she was plowing the fields (or something)... Set boundries "you may play with these books, these pens/bikes/clothes/whatever you may not play with these knives/televisions/automobiles you must stay within 3 miles/6 weeks walk of the house (depending on how much you like them and how mature they are)" and I've found that if you're moderately strict when the first straying occurs, you can ease up for the rest...

[Iris]

When I stop laughing, I'll come up with real advice. In the meantime, let'em loose in the backyard. And after they've picked all the grapefruits off the tree, send to me.

The fruit, I mean.

[Laura in Alameda]

1- learn a semi threatening phrase to deal with wild/unbearable/annoying behavior. Mine is 'you must be soooo tired to be acting this way! Maybe I should start your bath and you can turn in early' this usually shapes them up for a while. Unless they really are overtired. 2- think of chores you want done for the price of a quarter. Shoe shining, trash emptying, you know. A helpful child is a child who is giving you ten seconds peace to finish reading the paper. 3- and this is key- find out what they like to do, and do some of it. Try to include physical exhaustion- err exercise- in every outing. Have fun!

[caroline]

Thanks, you all, for the sage and savvy advice! Laura, physical exhaustion + jet lag is golden, lemme tell ya. worked like a charm... And Iris, guess who has to squeeze the juice out of all those picked grapefruit, O wise one? Moi, heh. Or else they're stacked like planes over LaGuardia on my kitchen counter growing fungi... great concept, though. BTW, the fruit and the picker-chicks are a package deal...did I mention Cari gave me your address? hee. Corine, I read Gomez (the mom) your underwear idea. She roared. Plans to use it soon. Amie, the boundary thing worked terrifically. And if I can get away from the kitchen i plan to pick up the learn to knit materials next. Check my next post.. am gonna need more ideas for the housebound Finnlets...