What peculiar chemistry is it...

...that calls you to one blog and not another? I believe I'm up to over 120 feeds on blogspot and that's not counting the handful of other blogs who steadfastly resist having a feed and which I get to by clicking on my own sidebar blog list.  And yet there are some that just pull me and others that I read out of some sort of duty to the knitblog community to stay tuned in and support everyone. 

I first noticed net chemistry when I tried internet dating. My computer phobe friends look at me like I've lost my mind when I explain that yes, you can too feel chemistry (or horribly NOT) over the web, email or IM.  That yes, I can too get to know someone in a very real way... yet have never met them.  And that the chemistry may or may not extend to voice communication. And if it holds through to voicecom, it might not extend to in-person meeting. And every imaginable subtle and crass permutation of the above is also possible.

Well, lo, it sure does seem to be true in what calls to me in reading knitblogs.  Some 'voices' just wag my tail. Some are a necessity. Can't wait for the next installment. Do you think it could be [at least in part, having by the medium stripped away pheromones (no physical presence), and the 98% or so of content that is communicated by visual means (body language, breathing rythym, pacing etc, and the subtle layering of tone and vocal color, phrasing, accent, 'song' (no sound)] do you think it could finally be a measurable reaching out and connecting on an energetic/intuitive level?  I mean I know I use a sixth sense that way, but then I am comfortable with the reality that I use my sixth senses (for lack of a better catchall term) at all times for everything. Cannot turn it off. But for others who might not have thought that level of intuition is in their own repertoire of senses, this could be something to consider, to open themselves to by way of such a simple and concrete example.

Would be interested to know your thoughts about this or if you've ever thought about why some blogs 'pull' you harder than talent or knitting or whatever would explain.  I'm not talking popularity contest here nor the obvious items like great, sage tech advice or humor etc. 

I'm just sayin'. And I'd like to know what you're sayin' about this, too...

Comments

[mari]

Great post. Yes! "Voice" nails it, the same for me as reading a favorite writer in a printed medium. It's the way the thoughts are strung together. And I think for most people, they can tap into a free-er thought pattern than they do when they're face-to-face, less self-conscious communication. And the connections can be more on the unconditional side, because they have very little "reality" to serve as reality checks.
"Tribe" is another perfect term you've used. Often I hit off your list of favorites, and find some great voices there, too.
So, net chemistry, I feel it. And that's a bit of a shock, because always before, I got the strongest hits through my nose... or visual, like someone's peculiar stance, or how a shirt lays across a collarbone.
It's an intriguing topic....

[Susan]

Great post. I get it. I think it is the choice of words, the pacing - how the blog pulls you in. Pics are always good too, although they aren't really necessary if the content is GOOD. If it is blah blah blah (like mine tends to be - honestly) then pics are necessary. Posts that leave you wanting more.... how did they get to be the person they are, I wonder what they were as a kid, or I wonder how they are in "real" life. I wonder how their voice sounds? People with interesting views, or live that are different than mine. I do see a pattern to my favs though. They tend to be honest and real and have had some tough times but all in all they value their life and like to share.

I get turned off by complainers, or whiners or people that need to take their medication. Ones with too much ego, those that are mean get booted off my list quickly. If someone is having a bad day, hey I can deal with that - but when the bad day turns into the bad week, bad month and when you look back you can see a pattern of weird behavior - off they go.

[Laurie]

The first thing that popped into my head was "voice," too; one of the "6-Traits" of writing that I am attempting to teach to highschoolers. It's that voice that makes me think "I 'get' her." or "she understand me," and that pulls me back to the blogs. It's a feeling of familiarity that is just there.

Of course, sometimes what seems like familiarity can prove over time to just be a passing crush, so to speak.

Very interesting idea. I like thinking about it.

[Iris]

Definitely voice. When I "meet" people online through blogs it is almost the same as in person: something clicks, and I want to stick around.

[Colleen]

The pull is two fold with me: visual and grammatical. Give me a few well-written sentences about your latest project, a big picture and maybe a link or two. Keep the majority of your text relevant to your knitting. I'll be one happy reader.

I try to remember this when I create my own posts.

There would be the added bonus of daily blog updates, but I know that's not possible for everyone.

[juno]

I think everyone has instincts - call it latent psychic ability, or intuition, or a 6th sense - but that social convenience and good manners and common usage teach us to ignore these things. They are too spooky and un-measurable for many people to put faith in.

You are right about on-line dating - when I think about the people I've met that way, I've absolutely recognized certain factors of attraction/recognition (or the opposite!) from non-concrete clues. I've learned slowly to trust these instincts - if they say to stay, if they say to go, and the better I listen, the less often I go wrong about people.

And the same is true for bloggers. The people who catch at you for reasons that have nothing to do what they are writing about are the ones who draw you back - the ping that comes from feeling - oh, a kind a sympathetic recognition. Good writing helps, honesty, a sense of humor, good storytelling, a bit of vision about the world, but in the end these are just extensions of the unspoken thing.

I don't think it is so much that the lack of pheromones frees you from distraction, but that because you don't have visual cues, the medium forces you top fall back on instincts, to sharpen them up and trust them more than many people do in the flesh & blood world. The interesting bit to me is how your perceptions in the so-called-real-world change once you have begun to use and trust your non-analytic senses in the electronic one.

Thanks for bringing this up. I’ve really enjoyed thinking about it and reading what others have to say.

[corine]

it's funny you should write that as i am definately more excited when some blog titles are in bold than when others are. i'm trying my best to be tidy though, keeping my subscriptions around 25 with another 5 to 10 who's feeds don't accomodate the lines. i weed them out regularly, but sometimes they may come back if i happen upon them again and i get that 'old friend' feeling. fun to think about. my criteria are really all over the place. some people's entries make me feel like i could sign my own name and call it mine, others are vastly different from me, i'm drawn to both... i tend to weed out if it's a lot of been there, done that, like college scenes and shabby appartment living... i imagine when my kids are older, i'll probably stay away from the blogs featuring young children too. 10 years ago i would have felt an affinity with the feline owners, now, no. i like the fluid arrangement of it all, it suits me.

[Margene]

Funny, witty (to a point), and a little slice of life make a blog worth reading. Not being a grammarian myself I can't say that's so important but whining turns me off in nothing flat. Also mean people are not funny. There is some chemistry involved but, you can make friends or just stop by a blog quickly and it’s all good.

[Emma.]

Interesting and thought provoking post.I haven't really given it much thought.There are definately blogs that I very much enjoy,and get a thrill when I've seen that they've up-dated.A bit like the feeling you get when a good friend telephones or e-mails.Others I visit because I feel I should [?!] or when I'm bored ! I'm not about to tell you who. ;-]
It is instinct.I've met fellow knitters who I only knew via the web,and they felt like old friends.
My thoughts aren't clear on this,or anything at the moment.Too full of snot !

[Betsy]

Hey Caroline~
Thanks for putting my Blog on your list.
I see some things on your blog and I am curious how to "do that too". Please email me and I will respond with the questions.

Betsy

[Michelle]

That's a great question...I wish I had a coherent answer, but I don't. I definitely have a preference for certain kinds of "voices", and I love to read bloggers who make me laugh and/or make me think. As for describing exactly what makes my synapses fire that way...well, that's the real question, isn't it?

[Suzanne]

The pull for me is the writing. The outstanding writers in my opinion are: Yarnagogo, Kerstin (duh!) and you are very good too I must say. Many blogs are great visually too BUT what makes them great is the voice.

[Becca]

It's a little weird, but I think what holds me is a rather delicate balance--I like blogs that aren't "all about me," and that acknowledge the world outside the domestic tranquility we create with knitting. Blogs are certainly personal and journal-like, but they can get a little airless sometimes. I'd rather read about imperfection than perfection.

I also gravitate toward people with whom I have something (besides knitting) in common--although the differences are what makes someone interesting to read about.

[Kerstin]

Someone just asked me this same question recently and I immediately said "writing." But I think I meant "voice." Geez, I don't know, it's a combination of things. I like intelligence, wit, honesty, good pics, and heart/soul. I also tend to visit first the bloggers I've met in person. It's just more fun when you read their blog and "hear" their real voice. Not sure why, but that always gives me a kick. I think intuition plays a part, too. But my intuition has certainly been wrong more than once in blogland and that bothers me to no end since I've always depended on my intuition for survival. :)

Hey, you want some snow? The white powder just keeps raining down up here!

[mrspilkington]

"voice" is right on...a sense of thoughtfulness, if that makes any sense...i also like blogs that take an 'audience' into account, not necessarily a big audience, or anything show-offy, but just a sense that the blogger is trying to communicate or connect in some way...ah, i don't know what i'm saying.

[Tracy]

I like a blog that has a bit of everything in. I don't need to know the whole caboodle about a person, but it's nice to have a little insight into their day. Knitting content is always good, their thoughts on a particular project, their choice of yarn etc. I like a bit of a laugh as well and also something that makes me think, whether it's a charity thing or something that has hit the news so views are aired. When I read a favourite blog, I suppose I do hear a voice, but I also hear it in accents, is that weird? Being English may have something to do with it as alot of the blogs I read are either American or Canadian. Pictures too, lot of them, doesn't even have to be knitting related, nosey I guess! Whatever, I know I spend alot of time reading other blogs, and thinking, yep that's what I want to do so go away to try and incorporate a little of whatever they have into my own little corner of the world. Great thought provoker Caroline!