All righty then, my lovelies. The journey of 10,000 miles begins with a single step could have been the alternate title to this post. In my case, I'd say it started with that final hug at the orifice as I stepped on down the road. Chez FiberTribe we have not been much with the fiber lately as you've noticed. We are all about sleeping in and tackling chores and errands and repairs and...well, you get the idea.
If you've been through a major career ending, life change thingy just skip ahead. But if not, I'm here to tell you it's beaucoup weird in myriad and minute ways. It's all those little details like what the fuck do I put in the 'occupation' blank on a brokerage account application? Duh. Nonplussed for a moment. And oh, shit, I can't just re-fi the house when I feel like it, can I? Won't qualify without a job, eh? These are small moments, yes, but telling. The mind, she is still getting her lobes around this change. And yes, it was a big rock tossed in the pond, and no, I really didn't think through all the feeling ripples. And here's another little thing: how friends tend to insist on picking up the tab at lunch or brunch more often these days. Hey, I've done that myself. It's just strange (but ok) to be on the receiving end of it. Come to think about it, maybe much of this unfolding path is about learning how to receive, learning how to stay open to receiving. To smile and be thankful for the kindnesses AND for the adventure. To avoid avoiding things, if that makes any sense, and to stay open to the unexpected and the happenstance connection.
And you know what? This really IS a grand adventure. But damn, it's like opening the cage door of a well-groomed and no longer feral beastie who's been 28 years in the cage... NOW what the fuck to do? huh? Huh? It's all about intention, right? And figuring out or being open to what to intend.
So...odd, weird, subtly squirmy though it may be, I'm not doing much. Lots of sleeping, much forgiveness of self for being scattered and unfocused. Time to gather all the threads and scraps of dreams and "if I had time I would-s", and what-about-that-how-cool-would-that-be-s, and come up with a design. Time to set aside the nagging worry that what I create won't do the raw material justice, that I'll have wasted my effort and wasted that lovely silk...
Hmmm. Maybe all that too-beautiful-to-knit-up stash yarn IS a metaphor after all. And so as a first installment of promises unfinished (from prior blog entries), and to hot up the entry, photographically speaking, here is the long-promised photo from St. Peter's church spire in Vecriga (Old Riga), Latvia showing the view up the Draugava River. It includes their awesome and beautiful suspension bridge over the river. I think it is grand inspiration for some sort of avant garde spider web-y laceweight mohair neckline, yes? ok. work with me here...
She lives! I'm envious of your freedom from the corporate shackles, but I can imagine how weird it must feel. I can only imagine, because my mortgage insists I show up for work daily.
Posted by: Catherine | January 24, 2006 at 06:16 AM
I have so much sympathy and envy and interest in what's happening for you right now. Receiving is incredibly hard....but what an adventure.
Keep us posted.....
Posted by: juno | January 24, 2006 at 09:46 AM
It's hard to figure out what to do with all the time we thought we'd love to have. The goal is to be ready and open to the next adventure.
Posted by: margene | January 24, 2006 at 11:09 AM
It will take you a while to settle and be able to think about where you'll go next. Enjoy the journey!
Posted by: Mary | January 24, 2006 at 03:32 PM
Welcome back! We missed you! I can emphathize with you completely, because when I was between jobs in 1998 I was so confused all the time! I would just recommend that you circulate, circulate, circulate - with anyone possible - because that is how the next job will pop up - through random people and when you least expect it. I got my last job through a chance meeting while waiting to go rollerblading with a friend in Central Park!
Posted by: Ellen | January 24, 2006 at 03:49 PM
It's about freakin' time you showed up here, missy. Ahh, the journey of life. You just never know what'll be around the next corner.
Posted by: Neena | January 24, 2006 at 05:02 PM
I like to put "retired" just because it feels scandalous. I fit so well in these shoes now, it's hard to remember that I used to live another way, punching the clock.
So didn't you say January? ;)
Posted by: Liz | January 25, 2006 at 11:02 AM
Um, you just described my life. ;) Slow down, enjoy the freedom ... freedom from schedules, from expectations, from commitments, from labels. I actually enjoy being flummoxed when it comes time to list my "occupation." Makes me feel slightly exotic in this land of corporate craziness.
Nice virtual visiting with you, as always!
Posted by: Kerstin | January 30, 2006 at 09:21 AM